Lost my mojo

As of late my blog has become more of an outlet/update about my life and what I am dealing with at the moment because Lupus is consuming. I feel like I lost my mojo. The thought of delivering reviews on the next Holy Grail product that is Gluten free and has quality ingredients just is not something I can make myself focus on right now. The small amount of energy I do have goes to my kids and being a Mom. I once got an award for most bubbly personality and considered myself energetic and fun. I was the fun Aunt to my nieces and nephews who became the fun Mom when I had my own kids because being involved, playing and making them laugh was just who I was and it was what I wanted to be. I long for those days now and the chances I have missed because I literally have to use all the strength I have just to get up most days. I feel like I am turning 80 not  35 next month. I recently got to spend some time out of the house with my sister/bestie just like the good old days except taking a walk around the mall and doing some window shopping left me in bed and in pain, tired and sore for days. But honestly it was worth it because it gave me a chance to feel somewhat normal and I got to spend time with my sister who has done everything she possibly can to support me every step of the way. So even though the freezing cold weather does a number on my body and driving around and seeing at least 6 feet of depressing snow everywhere I still enjoyed doing something normal. It is the small "normal" things that we tend to take most for granted.

  I just pray that this round of Chemo is my last and that not only me but my family as well can begin to recover. I won't ever get back the time I lost this year but I will enjoy every second even more because of it.

  I am thrilled that my daughter is turning 11 next month and that after some adjustments and rescheduling of treatments I will be able to enjoy and celebrate with her. I think it's important for her to get to celebrate with her girlfriends, have fun and feel special on her birthday especially since she is always outnumbered by boys at home and Mom is not exactly full of fun these days.

 I also want to THANK everyone who has supported me through this process. Your calls, texts, messages, donations, sharing, reading this blog and every little thing that people have done and gone out of their way to do for us without hesitation is mind blowing to me. I can't possibly thank you enough but I can promise to do my best to pay it forward in the future whenever I get the opportunity.