Could Be Worse

    People always ask me how I am doing and I always give the response of "okay" because honestly I don't want to sound like someone who feels bad for myself when I know there are people living with much harder things then Celiacs, Lupus and a damaged pancreas. Then there are those times when someone responds to my illness like it's no big deal and tell me things like " I know so many people with your exact same health problems and they are fine." or they tell me stories of how worse off someone they know is and act like I have a cold. I know how hard it is to understand since there are so many misconceptions about Autoimmune diseases and the toll it takes on your body, mind and spirit. Everyone is different and symptoms and treatments and how your body reacts to them is different for everyone. I have heard many times over the last year about people who worked the entire time they were doing chemo and that is great for them but for me my brain can't even process how that's even possible. No Doctor can predict how you will react to treatment or what your symptoms will be like in the future. I am 35 and as I have said before my medical records are as thick as a dictionary and at first glance must look like they belong to someone who is elderly and led a very unhealthy lifestyle. It has been a year since I have really worked out and I actually long for those days now of feeling strong and healthy. I would rather spend my money on a trainer and a gym pass then pay for my body to be poisoned to the point of no energy or strength left in it. Heck I would rather spend on a vacation or just about anything at this point but that would get me nowhere except stuck in a hospital or worse. As much as I hate chemo, medicine, hospitals, etc... I know that when this is done I will love all of those things because they are what will give me back my life. Some people don't get that chance for whatever reason and they are the reason I say I am "okay."